Heart2Heart

2011-12-16T22:22:00.000-08:00

CHRISTMAS: OUT WITH THE OLD

ISAIAH 43:19-21

Anyone else ever feel a little blue around Christmas. It's not that I am overcome with sadness. It's just things are changing...and I am not comfortable yet with the shift. Transition, change always brings about mixed emotions and it seems like the last 15 yrs have been nothing less than a roller coaster. This is our first Christmas where my husband and I actually feel like empty nesters. I had a hard time even getting in the mood to decorate. Our home is oddly quiet. It's the first year that we did not have a child to help us pick out a real tree (our granddaughter has gone with us since about 2yrs-3yrs old she is now 8yrs) and it's the second time in our married life (35 yrs of marriage) that we have had an artificial tree. I am missing the sound of children...I am missing the 'family' feel. We are no longer the focal point. I think about big families...and how it was when I was growing up...aunts, uncles, cousins, moms, dads, babies, children...the sounds, the food and the fun. I miss my granddaughter, and barely know my other granddaughter...and I have two step grandchildren...soon. I miss my son in the Navy. You should have heard me cry and grieve when our son went to the Navy about three years ago. With change often comes grief, and learning to do new things and learning to let go, learning to forgive, learning to cope with health issues and life issues, learning that I can't control everything that happens to me or my children or loved ones, but I can learn to let go and let God mold me, shape me, and keep my heart from becoming bitter and old and hard. So, even at this time when I'm feelin' a bit blue...I'm also feeling an expectation and a hope. This I know from experience: I CAN trust God my future is secure in Him. He's never failed me even in my weakest moment or lowest point. So, I am pressing on and pressing forward...accepting change and learning to embrace life to the fullest, looking forward to what God has for me in the future, letting go of the past, it's disappointments, it's sorrows and pains and unmet expectations...and like this song says...it's a new season, it's a new day...a fresh anointing is flowing my way, it's a season of power and prosperity, it's a new season coming to me. I've been tried by the 'fire' and I'm coming out...I have just begun..the best is yet to come!

Isahiah 43:19-21
19 See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
and streams in the wasteland.
20 The wild animals honor me,
the jackals and the owls,
because I provide water in the wilderness
and streams in the wasteland,
to give drink to my people, my chosen,
21 the people I formed for myself
that they may proclaim my praise.

Someone Tore My Little Outhouse Down

2011-06-21T13:25:00.000-07:00

Aunt Pluma dedicates the Outhouse song to me, and my daddy playing the Mandolin. Don't forget to see the pictures below...a little bit of history and some fun pictures of me as a little girl and some history behind my experience with the outhouse as a little girl. Hope you enjoy, and leave a comment...:)

I went home last year (August of 2010) to visit my parents in Arkansas. I hadn't seen my mama and daddy and ALL my siblings together in about 7yrs (way too long). My siblings and I (two girls, I'm the oldest, and two boys) all grew up in California but I remember about every 4 or 5 years we all would pile into the car and make our way to Arkansas. Daddy liked to drive straight through and I remember many a time us kids pleading for him to stop the car so we could go to the bathroom. Of course, many times there was no bathroom in sight, just a giant dust bowl or a handy ditch or bush, with mama standing guard. Anybody relate to this? Or was it just OUR DAD that never wanted to stop on a long trip? This is no big deal for someone of the male persuasion out on a long desert road but for two girls it wasn't always an easy or desirable thing to do...but we managed, and I am still here to tell about it. (chuckle) There just never seemed to be a bathroom near by when the urge hit, ya know? Now I think about it, using some of those gas station bathrooms was actually 'less desirable' than going 'p' out in the boonies. Half the time there was no toilet paper and you wondered when the last time it had been cleaned or if it was meant to scare away the customers? Ugh.So, it was a toss up which was the more desirable scenario ...worry about some varmint biting me in the derriere (bottom), or sitting on a dirty toilet and not being able to wipe?Which leads me, in a somewhat random way to my featured video: Someone Tore My Little OutHouse Down. This is a song that my aunt has been singing for so long (and she is 80+ at the time of this recording) that...no one knows exactly HOW long, but it's become a tradition in our family (pappy's side). ;) My Aunt Pluma dedicated this song to me and totally took me by surprise when I heard the words. You can hear me laughing...

Let me explain a little more why this song is so special to me. It ALL started when I was a little girl back in Arkansas. I did NOT grow up in Arkansas, having lived there for only a short time after I was born (I was actually born in California), we, my daddy, mama and younger sister and I moved back to California when I was around four years old. Whilst we lived in Arkansas (I love that word whilst, my daddy uses it a lot), our little family of four lived in a two room shack/ house down the hill from my paternal Grandpa and Grandma (the Atwell's). Before we moved into the little house, it was used by my Grandpa to store potatoes. Out back of where we lived was a little 'outhouse.' (My daddy informed me it was outback of Grandpa and Grandma's and I will now post the corrections down below straight from my daddy's FB page, lol) Outhouses, from what I have heard were great places for snakes or other creatures to hide, so going to the bathroom back in the day was probably not always as easy as our modern day conveniences. When was the last time you had to worry about 'what' might be lurking in your bathroom? :) One of the places I wanted to go see when I went back to Arkansas on my visit, was my grandparents old house, and the place where I had lived as a child for a couple of years.Of course, everything had changed, and it had grown over so much, it was pretty impossible to check out the site, but I did get to see a huge tree my Grandma had planted so many years ago.I hope to write more of my memories(and have my daddy help correct them if need be, ;)..and pictures of my wonderful Atwell side of the family, as well as the Ramey side (my mama's family). Life is short and sometimes our memories are too...sometimes there are things we 'need to forget but there are many things that we need to bring to remembrance and cherish....my family is a treasure to me and I love them and miss them very much. God bless. Karen :)

CORRECTIONS FROM MY DADDY, VANDER ATWELL VIA FACEBOOK. A LITTLE KID'S PERCEPTIONS ARE OFTEN FUZZY, AND A MENOPAUSAL 57YR OLD WOMAN'S MEMORY IS A BIT FUZZY TOO, I'LL GET IT RIGHT ONE OF THESE DAYS. LOL. LOVE YOU DADDY:

Vander Atwell (my daddy)

Ye olde country school house traditionally had two small outhouses, one for girls, one for gents located out back a distance apart, only when I started school the Boys little shanty was already deconstructed likely at the hand of older male honchos who had previously passed through the schools (Hopewell) halls of higher learning. When the boys needed to "go" they ambled down past where it had once stood and just kept walking 'till they were out of sight over the break of hill. The County was too poor to offer sanitary items so the locals donated outdated Montgomery Wards and Sears & Roebuck catalogs to the girls convenience, and for the boys, planted a field of corn adjacent to the school..Thats where the old expression "rough as a cob" originated..This may be more information than you wanted to know...

Daddy (the mandolin player :), me sitting in his lap (Karen), and mama with Vonda, my little sister sitting in her lap.

My sister and I sitting in front of the little shack we called home. We used to play out front when it was warm and every night our mama would have to check us for ticks and chiggers. I'm the one on the left and my sister is on the right, scowling (haha, she's gonna kill me). I still have a scar on my chin from the day mama cleaned the porch and it was slick cement, and I came running outside and fell on my chin. (I originally thought the outhouse was behind this little house, but it was behind Grandpa's house).

Vander Atwell

Its late but one correction: There was no outhouse behind the little house. The one you recall was at grandma's and grandpa's. There was one when I was a kid but it had long rotted away, after that a chicken house you could "go" behind but it burned down, after that a bunch of peach trees that offered a bit of privacy..Out back there was only a hand-dug well from whence we fetched water..Lord I hope you kids didn't use it for a toilet...

This is my Grandpa Roland Atwell, and my Grandma, Minnie Atwell. My Aunt Pluma, who sings the Outhouse song, looks a lot like my Grandma, I think, and my other aunt looks more like my Grandpa. Grandpa was a Baptist minister, well loved and liked in the community. He had the best laugh I've ever heard...

The Atwell Clan THEN: Grandpa Roland Atwell and Grandma Minnie Atwell front and center. Their kids, from left to right. Billie Atwell (the baby) , Oleta second born, Pluma,1st born, and Vander (my daddy) 3rd born. Lived on a hill in Mountainburg, Arkansas.

Roland and Minnie's kids NOW:

Aunt Pluma, Aunt Oleta, Vander (daddy), and Uncle Billie :)

AUGUST 2010

Still a Good Looking Bunch :)

Heart2Heart Father's Day Meltdown Bloopers

2011-06-17T11:10:00.000-07:00

Well, Ever have one of those times where your brain is just mush? That's the way it was when I recorded this video last Father's Day. It was 3am before I decided I wasn't going very far, and I finally gave up, told my husband the next day, it's full of bloopers, do with it what you will.

I may come back and write a blog along with this...but for now, Happy Father's Day. For those of you who may not have a Father or lost your Father along the way...on this special occasion, write a letter, send a card or give out a hug, take someone out who needs to be honored. Maybe someone in a nursing facility or a next door neighbor, or your son or son in law. Pay it forward. Love and blessings, ~Karen~

Confessions of a Plant Killer :)

2011-02-15T18:48:00.001-08:00

So, my sweet husband gave me a wonderful Valentine's gift and card! After about 35 years of marriage he finally is starting to 'get' it. He went to a well known florist shop and picked up a plant. It was a beautiful philodendron type plant. At first I felt a little disappointed, not because I didn't appreciate the gift, mind you, but I am a known plant killer. Give me anything that is living in a pot and 98-99% of the time it will probably not live past one year, if even that. I am surprised that I have not been locked up for 'plant abuse' by the 'are you taking care of your plant police,' or at the least had them confiscated! The sad truth is, no matter how hard I try, I usually kill my unsuspecting plants by either drowning them, or forgetting to water them altogether until one day I (or more likely my sweet husband) end up noticing the drooping/brown leaves and dry soil.

Now, getting back to the plant my husband purchased for me for Valentine's Day. I carefully took off the wrapping, and then I touched the rocks on the top of the pot. They were like, glued on, you know? So,upon closer observation, the plant, to my surprise and glee, was made out of silicone or resin, a very good quality I might add. This meant that he was finally beginning to accept me for me! The plant killer! For so long he had cajoled, scolded and encouraged me 'very' strongly to pay attention to the plants that were sobbing for water or drowning in mud (take your pick). For so long I had continued to, against my will, kill the poor things. It was a thing of contention between us at times. He also mentioned to me that the sales lady who sold him the plant said to him upon the purchase: Oh, so you're wife is like me, she kills plants! What a marvelous admission and a wonderful freeing thing to know that I am not the only 'brown thumb' in a world full of 'green thumbed' people. I no longer have to hide my 'shame.' No longer will I need to sneak a dead or dying plant out of the house and into the garbage can. No longer will I have to make excuses why I didn't water or over watered a plant. No longer will I have to hang my head in shame when asked, what happened to that beautiful plant I gave you? This was indeed a beautiful Valentine's Day! I married the most thoughtful and loving man in the world (and just think of ALL the real flowers/plants he saved from a slow and agonizing death). My husband is indeed my hero and always will be. I do have one itty bitty concern though, how often do I need to dust my wonderful plant? Hmmm....perhaps it would be better to just enjoy the moment...we'll tackle 'dust' another day. :) love, Karen

Healing Waters Church "The awakening of love"

2010-10-27T09:04:00.000-07:00

Through the Storms God is Always There

2010-10-26T11:07:00.000-07:00

Hello,
God has been doing a lot in the last year or so. We have had many changes in our circumstances and many storms to weather over the last few years. There have been family issues and health issues and financial issues. Sounds like a lot of us, doesn't it? For many the future looks bleak but I have to say this much...we are being called to a higher place in Him, we are being called to sit at His feet. We are being called to a higher place of faith walking. I am being stretched to the limit and even in 2009 I fought hopelessness and despair having to do with family and the prodigals. BUT I see God moving and I stand on His Word...it's not by might, not by power, BUT by MY SPIRIT saith the Lord!. Hold on dear ones, for when the storms come we do not see the SON shining behind the clouds, but He is there and soon the Light will disperse the clouds and the storm will pass. Hold on, hold on, Hold on, He has NOT abandoned you no matter what the circumstances look like. We do not live by what the world says, we live by the Word of God...and He says He will never forsake us or leave us. The song by Israel Houghten says it best..."It's a new season, it's a new day, a fresh anointing is coming my way, it's a season of power and prosperity, it's a new season coming to me." (I'm not talking name it claim it folks...this isn't about getting riches, this is about being overcomers. Remember who we are in Christ, or more appropriately, who He is in us! love and blessings... Karen

I'm Gonna Love You Like I've Never Been Hurt Before

2010-07-08T22:19:00.000-07:00

Over the last few years I put together some slides of our family and life on Slide.com. I am retrieving them to put on here. This slide show is another long one, but there are pictures in here of when I was younger and our children were younger, and family and friends and life. Life happens so very fast and there are so many changes and transitions that happen. I miss some things when the kids were young and life seemed relatively simple. In my phone, I carry a picture of our youngest son, leaning his head on my shoulder (he was about 7 or 9yrs), and my heart longs for that time again where I could share tender moments with my him. Our oldest, also, was always so tender hearted and I remember his quiet, gentle ways. We weren't a perfect family, I have regrets, but I hope my children will one day read some of the things I've written, or watch some of my slides, or watch my vlogs, and know how very much I love them. Right now they are doing their own thing. Without saying too much, in watching these slides, one has to read between the lines. There has been a lot of life lived, most of it has been rewarding and good, but there has been a lot of heartache also, especially in the last 10 years (starting around 1999 to present), and I have had disappointment, and deep, deep sorrow over some situations that I have had no control over (divorce, dreams I had for my children, hopes for the future, my health to name a few). I have experienced many emotions over my lifetime...but I have to say the last 10 years were some of the toughest and many times I was almost overcome by hopelessness. I have lived the first part of this scripture : Pro 13:12 Unrelenting disappointment leaves you heartsick, but a sudden good break can turn life around. And now I am waiting for the second part...for life to turn around. At least I see light at the end of tunnel. Through the years God has been faithful and He has always been there for me when I stumbled and when I thought I would never stand again. So, as I look at these pictures...there is a bit of grieving that I am going through...letting go of what could have been and what should have been, and all the what if's. I am going to love like I've never been hurt before...is the song on the slide...shake the hurts of the past off, forgive, pick myself back up and keep on living life the way Jesus wants me too. "I’m casting my cares aside ,I’m leaving my past behind ,I’m setting my heart and mind on You,Jesus. I’m reaching my hand to Yours,Believing there’s so much more,
Knowing that all You have in store for me is good ,Is good. Today is the day You have made ,I will rejoice and be glad in it . Today is the day You have made ,I will rejoice and be glad in it ,And I won’t worry about tomorrow ,I’m trusting in what You say. Today is the day! I will stand upon Your truth. And all my days I’ll live for You. Today is the Day (lyrics 'Today is the Day' by Lincoln Brewster). Thank You, Lord, I love You and am ever so grateful for my life. Amen (there should be appr. 298 pics on here...if it gets stuck you can view at slide...just click on the screen...might be better to do that anyway for anyone that would dare to view. This is mostly for me anyway). God Bless :)

Life on the Internet

2010-06-30T07:48:00.000-07:00

Hey,

I don't really expect anyone to read this, and quite honestly I don't know if I can find my way back here. I sure hope I can. I like to blog and started on Myspace of all places. I can't get rid of my Myspace now because it has so much on there, even some documentation of some important things. Then I went to Facebook because they opened it up to us 'older people', and all my family and friends and even long lost cousins were on there. Amazing. Anyway, Myspace has become a place I visit once in a while. I love the creative possibilities of Myspace and my slides of family etc., but my family chose FB and since our one son is in the Navy, stationed in Hawaii, he refuses to go on Myspace.

Then, my husband started a Channel on Youtube. It's called the Oldfarts Channel. I had had a Channel for quite a while to collect sermons, interesting Christian video's, worship music and so forth, but had never really got into the community (you know, subscribing and making friends and such). Well my husband is a part of a small production company called...'Taffytown Productions.' We make original video's and family friendly. Some political parodies too (or at least one, more are coming). There are also a few animation video's. RobnBob: Save a Buck are some of the first video's we did. These were featured on the Newnuma Channel on Youtube. We are in partnership with them, though we also have our own Channel too.

Just for fun, one day I decided I would try and video log with my web cam. I ended up with about 500 hits. I was thrilled that anyone would even care or dare to watch. Then I did another video...and another. My last two video's were one on Mother's Day (over 1,800 hits within a months time, and then Father's Day with over 2,200 hits...) I am amazed. Anyway, I have some friends who want me to vlog now and who knows. I probably cannot maintain that many hits, but I enjoy relating to and being out there. My heart is to encourage and bring life, love and laughter and share the love of Christ and my faith, though it is by no means a place where I debate.

I have gone all over the world, which I find quite amazing and I have met a lot of wonderful people...some Christian, some not. The biggest problem I have is trying to work Oldfarts Channel as well as my own. Sometimes I even hop onto my husbands own Youtube Channel, Papa's Youtube Channel (he has uploaded two times where he has read a Bible Story to our grand daughter Faith).

So, Now we are a part of the Youtube family. Though, Youtube has sent me two times now a request for me to join, and sign up for Adsense (I haven't got a clue as to what I am doing or not doing but how the heck do you get a code to join Adsense if Youtube won't give you one?) It's all a bit foreign to me (the technical side), but we will continue and maybe one day this 'at home' mom/grandmother will be able to help with the bills...though this is NOT my driving force for being on Youtube. I expect one day, I will be traveling a lot more, maybe going to some of the places I've been on Youtube...possibilities are endless.

God Bless, y'all (or whoever) :)